Unsatisfied By Average

The Musings of a Stubborn Believer

Is This Not the Life I Have Chosen?

I watch the scurry from my seat behind the wheel, past noses of three cars poised to launch. 

We’ve gotten pretty good at our “preflight.”
These engines idle; these craft of steel and fiberglass wait in precise formation, just barely holding short of the drive. We’ll leave almost simultaneously. Five of us. Still pre-dawn. To three destinations 100, 200 miles apart. But we’ll be back in a few hours.
I sigh, close my eyes. Rest head to head rest.
Then I look again.
Looks like a carrier deck.
How fitting…

–  –  –  –  –  –  –
This is war. 
I’m most cognizant of it when the sun sets and the moon rises. But sleep won’t come. 
By day, we work. 
-changing carpets in our rental, working the relentless wedding list, building, cleaning, weeding, planting, designing, then dropping everything to operate an ambulance… (and did I mention my laundry?)
By night, we watch, we war…
-pacing, pleading, juggling strategies. praying. reading. writing. leading… hand holding.
And then we repeat the oft-quoted words of a valiant friend: “I can rest in Heaven”
Is this not the life I have chosen?

I’m going back to Isaiah 58. 
verse 6, verse 7, verses 8 and 9…
Because this is the life I’ve chosen.
And I’m going to pull it apart piece by piece… Every agonizing, thrilling little detail. 
Because I can’t be satisfied until I watch “light break forth as morning”
in the darkest soul I know.

You can come with, if you’d like…
starting tomorrow.


  1. I'm coming with you, every step of the way… Light will break forth as morning. I cannot be satisfied otherwise.

  2. Oh Sean…I can't be satisfied either. So much work, so little time! Just last night I was lying in bed for hours agonizing over a soul…truly this is the best life though! I'll rest with you in heaven…

  3. I'm with you brother! Nothing more beautiful, more rewarding…than to see a lost soul break forth as the morning! It's worth all the pain and tears for their salvation. Worth it all… I'll rest with you in heaven, too. No time to rest here when we are to be about the work God has commissioned us to do and when there are souls perishing.

  4. How can I sleep away the hours when their are souls out their without anything to live for?? The battle is on. I am giving it all I have–and that it takes. And even if there were no promise of rest in heaven, just to see light breaking in the dark chambers of a soul . . . There is simply no better way to spend my life.

  5. Oh, indeed so! wow, this post couldn't have come at a better time… Thank you brother, Thank you.

  6. Absolutely. all. in! Wouldn't miss the journey…
    The crescendo of an almost tangible rumble of assembling warriors is marked as of late. Warriors whose assemblage make the devil tremble–because their Commander's _never_ lost a war. And He needn't start now!

    Thanks bud! More than you know…

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