That moment when the endless empty makes you realize how small you are, how big the world is, (much less the universe.) and how unreasonably kind God is for still having eyes for me.
That moment when the endless empty makes you realize how small you are, how big the world is, (much less the universe.) and how unreasonably kind God is for still having eyes for me.
“… and that ye break every yoke?…”
This is no halfway freedom we’re talking about.
This is undeniably the most audacious face of the conflict–
It’s grace, returning to finish the job.
Because “if the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
So it is that the trembling (but oh, so happy) child of God (only recently in chains) awakens one morning to a flurry of activity, and while yet rubbing sleep from the eyes an angel brushes by and says the Commander is waiting…
“For what–
For me??”
Yes. Because just getting clear of the door of that prison is’t enough for this General.
Today they’re going back to crush the fortress to a thousand pieces.
And He wants to take me with Him.
So we set out. Me with my little coil of rope, and Him, strong as ten thousand times ten thousand bulldozers. And I look up in awe while we trek– still thinking this is a dream. The One, the Invincible Soldier. The other, the admiring little boy, still in his pajamas…
And He looks down and smiles.
He doesn’t need me.
But He glories in making the weak, strong.
–in setting them over their enemies.
And after all, don’t I know where the pillars in that place rest, better than most?
Some day when every wrong is made right, I will understand the true weight of today. For now, let’s just say it was one of the best days of my entire life…
I step out, zipped and buttoned. Black wool and cashmere reach earthward almost to my knees. The very air is alive with vigor, somewhat like my insides… I go to meet my God in a beautiful field, on a beautiful farm, this beautiful morning of mornings.
I sit on sandstone at the spot where two friends of mine became one months ago, and read…
And my journal, this spiral bound book with my handwriting in it, this book that records the secrets of my broken-hearted moments, this book my Nana gave me, it opens my eyes to the goodness of my God.
Every moment I have lived, every mercy I have tasted, every tear I have shed, every battle I have fought, every dream turned to ashes, was for today.
Today.
Without them, the new dreams springing up would have nothing to root in; to feed on. Because of them, I love my God more than I love anything else in this great wide world. And I love all that is (are!) His…
Hours pass and I wander around the pond; ponder why my heart is here today anyway…
It was just a pebble.
Just a friend who doesn’t even know it happened. But just because they love Jesus, because they love what is high and holy and pure, and just because I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it when I was momentarily unsure of what to do with my sword, just because of that; them…..
Some day when every wrong is made right, I will understand the true weight of today.
Mean time, I will never again underestimate the power of influence…
Even if it does seem like just a pebble…
Victory is not about resisting temptation until we build enough spiritual muscle to beat it in an arm wrestle.
Victory is about unraveling temptation before it starts.
Let’s back up.
Satan deceived angels not by leading them to concede to the viability of evil, but by offering them a counterfeit good.
He entered the garden, and offered Eve freedom when she was already free.
He offers us love, [insert: happiness, peace, fulfillment…] when in fact, we are already loved.
The fundamental principle of evil is calling into question the sufficiency of the genuine.
That’s the great controversy in one sentence.
And that’s the science of temptation.
First, causing you to question the real, then offering a supposedly viable alternative.
That is why faith makes us righteous, (ever heard of Righteousness by Faith?) and free.
When the child of God believes that all the promises are “Yes, and Amen!”
When he believes that every word of God is creative– just as creative as “Let there be light.”
And that the promises are not stored in Heaven for our aid someday, but are already in our pockets…
Already acting in the lives of those who believe them…
Then the very fundamental principle of temptation is shattered.
Temptation is neutralized before it gets off of the ground…
Unraveled like a rotting sweater.
When we believe (with our hearts, not just our heads) that the promise is all sufficient,
Temptation suddenly becomes utterly insufficient.
You have a billion dollars in your pocket. Why are you falling for the enemy’s penny?
Only because you think you’re poor.
If the Spirit of God has transformed you within,
you will exhibit Divine characteristics in your life, not good human characteristics.
God’s life in us expresses itself as God’s life,
The secret of a Christian is that the supernatural is made natural in him by the grace of God…”
My God is a constant.
Through an incessant flickering of transients too numerous to compute,
from people and places, to promises forgotten–
I see the Lord high and lifted up,
sitting on His throne.
He never changes.
Ever.
Comforting when that truth is driven home.
Almost overwhelming when it’s driven home by faithful, albeit frail human flesh.
This evening I rejoice in the mercy of just such faithfulness.
My sister’s head resting on my shoulder; from my mouth come words quoted from a cherished tale of Huguenot fidelity:
“‘The stars do not change, Monsieur…'”
and my little sister finishes:
“‘Nor do the angels in Paradise.”
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