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Privileged: The Real Gospel

February 22, 2011 / Seán / 2 Comments

“The principle of the gospel is this:
The gospel always brings life to the receiver,
and death to the giver.

If the gospel brought death to Jesus Christ, why would we think that in preaching the gospel it would be any less for us?…

So the mixture of our message is life and death,
And laughter and tears…

And this is voluntary.
This is not a sentence at all…
We’re not sentenced to death.
We’re just privileged to answer His call…”

–Jackie Pullinger

lifelong missionary to Hong Kong

Grace is Power…

February 19, 2011 / Seán / 2 Comments

Just four young adults and a veteran Toyota Corolla sporting new snow tires…

That was us a few weeks ago. The trip was originally planned for 6, but God had other ideas.

It was a trip like none other. We sorely missed having our parents along, but even in that I see the hand of Providence. He wanted this trip to be different. and different it was.

Our world is changing. I mean, the world of 4 young people from the edge of nowhere who love to work together, pray together, play together, serve together, sing together… And cry on each other’s shoulders.

We hear the tread of armies. Constantly.

And we see the gleams of a golden morning…

All at once we are noting in the world around us things that we’ve never perceived before.

Some things that not that long ago had little or no influence on our personal lives are fast becoming our reasons for living.

I have no way to explain it, other than the fact that we’ve been captivated by Grace.

In all my years I cannot remember another time when the four of us have jumped into the car after a day on the slopes with young friends, pulled off our helmets (hair to the four winds) and had nothing to talk about all the way down the mountain but Jesus…

He is so irresistible. And every time I turned around, I was looking into the face of another long-time friend and seeing the same thing written there. (for the first time)

I can’t remember another time when one moment, I could be speeding down an icy road on a sled, surrounded by shouts of laughter and high spirits, and the next moment be on my back looking up at the blue sky saying “My Jesus, I love You…” (And the next moment be speeding down the icy hill again.)

I have never seen so much of Jesus in His children… Everywhere I turned, I caught another glimpse of His face.

Our world is changing…
Or maybe not.
Maybe we’re just tasting more of His grace… And He’s changing the things we love, and the things we live for. Maybe that’s why we don’t pray for happiness, but for usefulness. Why we gladly exchange fun times for the pursuit of His glory…

I never imagined that broken pieces could be this happy…

Grace is power.
What it touches, changes.

Eternal Weight of Glory, serving You is joy unspeakable!
Please keep us in Your hand…

Scars

February 15, 2011 / Seán / 5 Comments

Deep sigh.

Silence.

Staring at nothingness.

I leaned back in my desk chair while the reality settled in…

“…He is pleading His wounds—‘My hands, my hands!’ ‘I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.’”*

And all at once I closed my eyes and I could almost see Him…

–See Him standing in the throne room, turning for just a moment from the painful sight of yet another failure, to face His Father.

With tears in His eyes, and tears in His voice–

“Abba–

Abba, My hands…

Look at My hands!”

* * * * * * *

You and I know those beautiful hands were forever ruined saving us. A friend of mine once noted that they might be more than just perpetually scabbed. What if they are permanently disfigured?

My hands tremble, and my eyes fill with tears, even as I type.

But you know what moves me yet more?

It’s the second part.

“I have graven thee…”

It’s my name that is carved on His beautiful hands. Carved with a Roman nail.

My name is a scar on His perfect Person.

But He is not ashamed of me.

Indeed not. Rather, He holds me up before His Father, and says “Look at My hands…”

And “swift angels are sent to minister to fallen man, to lift up and to sustain.”*

This is Love.

Only love can call scars trophies.

*{RH January 4, 1887, par. 15}

Quote of the Day

February 13, 2011 / Seán / 1 Comment

From adult Sabbath School this morning:

“We are on this earth for a purpose.
And that purpose is God.”

I want to go Home…

February 4, 2011 / Seán / 3 Comments

Even on the happiest of days (yesterday included) there is a sense I cannot shake off. A part of my heart always throbs for the hurting world… A part of my life is always in tears for friends who are dying self-inflicted spiritual deaths. A part of my soul is always praying, pleading for the morning…

I hate the powers of darkness.
I loathe the forces of evil that push beautiful faces into the mud over and over again until they suffocate.

A part of me cannot, will not be happy until we are all safe at Home at last…

Last night was no exception. After a day loaded with blessings, I dropped in bed to claw through a block wall with my fingernails. And then I read a friend’s blogpost.

Go read it. I couldn’t write it nearly as well.

Heaven’s Hands

January 31, 2011 / Seán / 6 Comments

You are called to be Heaven’s hands… and Heaven’s voice.

This is happiness…

___________________________

I was already in my pajamas. In fact I had just plopped down on the couch in the living room, Spiritual Leadership in one hand, and my iPad in the other, waiting for family time.

Then the dispatcher down at the county seat hit a button on her console… The button that gets us moving faster than any other button in the world.

And the pager came alive.

“An ambulance is requested at _____for a s__ty-___ year old female with difficulty breathing…”

So much for the PJs.

Joshua, Natasha and I were out the door by the time she finished repeating the tone.

And driving down the road towards town, I prayed the same prayer that is in our hearts every time we jump into our uniforms and grab our radios.

“…and let us be Your hands to our patient this evening. In Jesus’ name…”

She really was in trouble. Enough trouble that when we got her in the rig, she got three lines of oxygen instead of one. But God knew she needed more than just our medications and a ride to the nearest hospital.

She needed a song.

It was the farthest thing from our minds…

But no matter. He has His ways… And before we were halfway to the hospital, the three of us found ourselves singing O Lord, You’re Beautiful…

And she was leaning back on the cot still wheezing heavily, but with her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

When we finished, the panic was gone. She said she could die in peace… because her angels had sung for her.

I just looked at her.

I promise you, we’re not angels. For one thing, angels sing in tune. We could barely hear each other from the three corners of the back of the ambulance with all the road noise…

But I learned that sometimes all He needs is for us to be willing to lift the lid on protocol for just one second and move our lips so that He can sing…

By the time our charting was done and we left the ER, every staff member there had heard the tale of her angels.

All I could do was shake my head.

And wonder at what we might have missed…

We are called to be Heaven’s hands… and Heaven’s voice.

This is happiness. And an honor entirely undeserved.

An hour later I pulled back through the dark streets of our quiet little town, and up to the white metal building we affectionately call “the barn.”

Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for riding this ambulance today.

“Catron S.O. this is 2*67 on Davenport”

“Catron S.O. on Davenport, Go ahead 2*67”

“Good evening ma’am, we’re back in service.”

“10-4. Thank you. Welcome home sir.”

Seventeen – Smiles Against All Odds.

January 23, 2011 / Seán / 6 Comments

An excursion down memory lane just landed me on some old treasures… A few would probably make you smile, (maybe they’ll have their chance in the near future) but one in particular rivets me this morning…

The year I learned to pray.

I knew something special was going on even back then, but now I really see it. And to this day, that nine-letter word dances on my tongue whenever my friends start talking about the best years of their lives.

Seventeen.

That was a loaded year. A year of transitions… And one of the fullest and toughest of my life.

But it was pure happiness.

I still remember standing in line to register for classes at a public university… And thinking over and over again on the first day of classes: “What on earth am I doing here?”

But what I remember more is being in that treasured spot in library at the top of the hill, day after day, every time the clock in the bell tower struck 12:00, to keep an appointment…

It didn’t start there, of course. It started months and months earlier on the hillside at home. In fact, it was probably the greatest factor in my finishing 4 years of high school in a year and a half.

It was “quiet hour.”

Just me, and my God, and my journal.

And just as I had done all the year through when normal life, well meaning people, interruptions and “important” things tried to eclipse it, I had to fight to keep it. I had quite the time scheduling and re-scheduling 19 credits to keep it free.

Am I ever glad I did…

___

My life looks a bit different now.

Instead of 19 credits, it’s the joys and challenges of virtually full-time ministry with books to write, CDs to record, planes to catch, people to love, the gospel to share, and our lives to pour out… (for which we both tremble, and thank our God constantly)

And there are the duties of home to make all of that logistically possible… 2 corporations soon to be 4, (for myself and my brother) the joys and responsibilities of being family, such as helping to maintain home and property, gardens and a greenhouse, and claiming my share of the honor of taking care of a grandmother with severe dementia…

But still. Still…

My life is pure happiness.

Even though I am always facing impossible odds.

There’s just nothing in the world like shedding everything for a moment (or an hour) right when it feels like it’s going to kill you, and leaning on Jesus with your head on His knee…

Smiles against all odds…

I still call 17 the best year of my life.

But maybe that’s not really fair… For since then, they have only gotten better.

Too Good to Be True?

January 19, 2011 / Seán / 3 Comments

The word is invigorated.

Or as my beautiful little sister put it on the way back to Boston Logan after a full weekend–

“You always end with the upper hand if you’re on the right team….”

The God we serve defies the bounds of human logic. I decided that afresh while kneeling once again by the little pile of rocks where I begged for words last week. This time, laughing and crying at once–

“My Jesus! You’re too good to be…to be…

True?!?

No… Too good not to be True.”

Surrender to Conquer was the theme of the Northeast Youth Retreat this year…

And the paradox has been driven home for me.

Jesus, keep us faithful…

Photos: Elwyn Garaza & Joshua Nebblett

God is Good… [And the year in photos]

January 12, 2011 / Seán / 0 Comments

God is good.

Oh, so good.

That’s my theme song these days…

My feet are finally “back to normal,” (after the miles logged in dress shoes in Baltimore :)) but my heart has only started singing.

Though GYC flew by in somewhat of a blur, God still found ways to articulate His grace to me… Sometimes through thunderous throng, sometimes through stunning silence…

Every time, right when I most needed a hand to hold.

When a third of us flew home on a few hours notice partway through to be with my dying grandfather, that’s when grace swept me right off my feet, in more ways than one. It still makes my heart warm to think about it.

He used sandwiches. One offered, and one bought for me even though I thought I wasn’t hungry. He used a 120-voice choir on its knees. He used the tears in a stranger’s eyes when she said how she’d been blessed. He used Elder Wilson’s compassionate words and prayers. He used the sound of 5,500 voices coming towards me during closing song. He used the prayer room. He used my amazing committee members. He used my little sister’s head resting on my shoulder. He used three hundred smiles from strangers, a “picnic” lunch with old friends and new faces, a solid vote of confidence…

And he used my own weakness.

Yes, God is good.

Oh thank You, Your Grace…

Do it again next year.

___________________________________

For those of you with interest in getting a taste of our year in photos… 🙂

Here is our year in pictures, &

Here are a few extra from Australia.

“That’s what I did…”

December 25, 2010 / Seán / 3 Comments

“…But I never did promise [it] to you specifically.”

“I noted that.”

“I just asked you to…?”

“Fight.”

“Mhm.”

“What am I supposed to do? Fight for someone else’s trophy?”

“That’s what I did.

Merry Christmas…”

______________________________________________

Thus ended the little “dialog” between the Eternal Weight of Glory and a tired soldier feeling more like a little boy in his cold, dark room on the eve of Christmas.

But not because there was no more to say.

Because there was too much to think about…

Ahh, matchless condescension.

Matchless abdication of rights.

Matchless benevolence.

To give the best and brightest of your talents, the bulk of your time, the vital force of your life for someone else’s gain, asking absolutely nothing in return other than the honor of giving…

That is the spirit of Christmas.