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The Musings of a Stubborn Believer

Category: photos (page 7 of 11)

Relentless Men

January 22, 2012 / / 6 Comments

Luther. Tyndale. Huss.
Lenin. Stalin. Hitler.
Winston Churchil. William Wilberforce. William Pitt (the Younger)…

Names all that ring down the halls of history.
World changers.

Extraordinary? Certainly.
All particularly advantaged, talented, clever, wealthy and wise?
Hardly.

But they shook the world. Their tread resounded across the borders of countries and continents. In their day, greatly loved or greatly feared. In ours, household names.

They brought the horror of great darkness, or returned the people to light.

And they all had this in common:
They faced unbelievable odds, and failed more times than you and I have tried.

But they were relentless men.
Relentless men.
______

There is a reason my iPhone chimes at 11:00 am on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays reminding me to go outside and run. And it’s not because I don’t have other things to do. Ok, so exercise is good. But for this pilgrim, there’s way more strategy in it than just that.

I’m a mercy-loving man. But sensitivity being one of my stronger points, in my natural personality I sometimes have far too much mercy on myself…

I need to learn relentlessness. Just as thoroughly as I study what it means to be a world-class gentleman. Or, . . . never be a world-changer.

So I’ve set out to do just that.

That’s why I get up when I do.
That’s why I put on neon-blue Nike+ shoes and run 8 miles, Sun, Tues, Thurs…
Every week.

I don’t love running that much.
That’s exactly my problem…
______

What makes us think God is going to train us for service while we sit here?
God has no intentions of doing for us what we can do for ourselves.
Grace enables.
You decide.

Yes, you.

Strength is Song

January 18, 2012 / / 17 Comments
Oh Lord our God, little children praise you perfectly,
And so would we. 
And so would we.

Some songs keep singing long after the baton is back in its sleeve.

Jared Westbrook
I awake early to two simultaneous trains of thought, perhaps leftover from the night’s dreams…

In one, my heart strains after more perfect service, and my lips silent form the morning’s plea.
In the other, the lyrics to my all-time favorite choral anthem run over and over; warm, fill.

I roll out of bed.

My thoughts merge on the 8th Psalm. I play the words of the incredulous poet over in my head.

“Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings has thou ordained…”

Wait.
What’s the word?
Neato (the iPad) comes into service. I memorized the 8th Psalm as a boy, but perhaps it was a different version.

“…Hast thou ordained strength.”

Hey, were did my praise word go?
I switch to Strongs.

The word is Strength. The word is also Praise.

Same word.
Same thing?
I squint at the screen, thinking, not seeing. My finger dances at the edge of discovery.

Strength and song go together.

H5797
“The LORD is my strength and song…”
“Give unto the LORD glory and strength.”

Wait… Give Him strength? Make that praise.

“Give unto the LORD…glory and strength.”
“Unto thee, O my strength, will I sing…”
“Sing aloud unto God our strength…”
“Thou art the glory of their strength.”
“For the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song”

I lean back in the futon, satisfied.

Praise is strength. Song is strength.

It “stills the enemy and the avenger.” (Ps. 8)
That’s perfect service.

Both trains of thought are satisfied.
To praise Him perfectly is to serve Him perfectly.

Irresistible Road

January 17, 2012 / / 3 Comments

All the way down row 12 on an MD90 homeward bound, laps are filled with open Bibles– still, at 11:00 am.

We are totally sold on this Gospel of the Kingdom. Totally sold.
This ship sails, and clouds slip silently beneath us, the only indication that miles pass quickly by.
We sail with a plane load of strangers all going to the same place, but for totally different reasons…
Our hearts remember cold so cold the lungs reject your first breath when stepping out the door. We remember handshakes long, embraces warm, faces eager, Bibles open, questions cards, brunch lines, and hearts softened by the Spirit…
Including our own.
Our hearts, our prayers soar, and the world gets strangely distant below us… behind us. A glance earthward reminds me time is slipping quickly by. 
We leave a gym full of friends going to the same place, for the same reason: 
This world is not our home.
This road is beautiful in solitude, irresistible in company.
So glad we can travel it with friends…

Because We Love the Songs You Love. [Next CD Project]

January 8, 2012 / / 34 Comments
Quiet, I watch jays and juncos flutter through freshly fallen snow in search of seed.
I hear in their contented chirps a song I’ve been learning over months of treasure hunts my own–
His way is peace… and perfect freedom.
I heard the same thing in the summer when the birds sang at dusk as well as dawn. 
(We’ve got a few lessons to learn.)
We do a fair bit of singing in this house. (epic understatement.)
And not because it’s always sunny… 
It’s because it fills our sails for the storm. 
Actually, when we’re all together on one level, 2 minutes is often the most we go between snatches of some sonnet.
And that is grace to us… Because we also often feel like we’re sailing high seas in half a cider barrel a piece. 
Oh, we’ve swallowed our share of salt water to be sure… 
But we’re learning to laugh at the waves. 
And somehow, these cider barrels are proving unsinkable.
But see, that’s why the song means so much to us…
_ _ _
So we’ve got a question. Next month marks a year since I Cannot Tell was tracked in our basement studio. And next month, we will be recording again… We’ve got a list of songs our hearts love to sing, but we want to hear the list your hearts love.
And they could be songs you’ve heard us sing, or favorites we’ve never heard before…
Just do one of three things. 🙂
1.)  Comment on this blogpost with your requests/suggestions
2.)  Post a comment in Google+ with the same (if you’re reading from there)
3.)  Drop us an email at thenebblettfamily[at]gmail[dot]com
As a little thank you, we’ll put your names in a hat and when the CD is done in a few months time, we will give away a dozen copies. 

City of Miracles

January 5, 2012 / / 19 Comments

From home to Houston, and back again.
The words of my brother Sebastian ring in my ears still–

It’s a new day.
It’s a new day…

What a way to start the year.
My stare rests blank on blank journal pages… Empty lines pleading to be filled with the fullness of days behind me.

Of waking high up, under Hilton-branded down, exhausted. Of learning to trust each new logistical catastrophe with the Ultimate Authority. Of joy overflowing while directing thousands of people through registration line. Of listening to 7,000 people sing I’ll Go Where You Want Me To Go right at my feet. (There is nothing, nothing like it in the world.) Of praying with seasoned soldiers, and nervous musicians. Of watching eyes water at God’s goodness. Of investing in beautiful young lives. Of having my burdens lifted by the Merciful God through my humble, brilliant team. Of hearing God’s name praised over my broken efforts. Of 190 voices and instruments singing Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
Of quieter moments. Behind a lens. Behind the stage. Discussing purpose with one friend, and the 85 Prime with another. Of grabbing my little sister’s arm every time I saw her. Of the joy of walking back over to the Hilton and finding 5 other Nebbletts in the room at random in the middle of the day (if only for 45 seconds). Of sunrise over Houston from the skyline patio 23 floors up. Of words– words from old friends and new that gripped; moved; changed.

My spine tingles.
And that’s not even the start. I don’t know where to start.
So I won’t even try… not now.

I’ll just tell you the bottom line. The thing I most want to remember from GYC 2011.
You’ve heard of Murphy’s law, no doubt?
I’ve learned there’s one greater.

Maybe we should call it Houston’s law.
Houston: City of Miracles. Where almost every dept. encountered some kind of logistical catastrophe, but nobody ever noticed. But called it instead the conference of conferences…

Because when the enemy is against it, but God is in it—

Anything that can go wrong, will be extra fuel for Glory.

It’s a new day.

When God [Re]writes My Christmas Story

December 25, 2011 / / 2 Comments

I believe in the God-scripted life. A script writer myself, I know that he who writes the script authors the outcome, and I believe in God-authored outcomes.

So let the story take unexpected turns!

 For the shepherd on the dark hillsides outside of Bethlehem, the appearance of not one, but countless angels from Heaven’s very choir was certainly just that: unexpected.

 And for us, sitting in the car all night in a familiar town was that likewise. And being separated by miles and feet of snow when we most wanted to be together– this season, and father’s 60th birthday– certainly not in the plans.

 But I have learned that through the unexpected God hones our expectancy towards Himself… And what is this season to remind us of, if not expectant waiting for the King? And even as space and time make loving hearts grow fonder, separation makes reunion more sweet.

So we glory in the gift of Jesus today, together. And thank Him that we have eyes to see, and ears to hear, and lives to live His script.

Wishing you all a most blessed and joyful Christmas! You are (each!) gifts to me this year…

Together! (seriously icy road…)

finally off the mountain

catching up (we get behind within minutes of separating)

So near, yet so far…

December 23, 2011 / / 11 Comments

I never thought I would be stranded just a stone’s throw from home…
But here we are.

Midnight:
I awaken with a start in the post office parking lot where we have taken refuge from the storm. We were on our way to Texas, now we’d just be glad for a place to lay flat. A mere hour and a half from home, and now we can’t go forward, and we can’t go back. Mother and Chantée who left earlier and were to meet us are likewise stranded in Albuquerque, both interstates closed. We roll our window down to talk to the policeman who is quickly becoming our friend…

“You guys ok?”

Oh boy. We’re fine… But are you going to get that car out of this parking lot?
Joshua and I end up white from head to foot after pushing the unit out of the drift created by our very van. We decide to get out ourselves before we’re drifted in…

And in the biting wind of the worst blizzard I have ever lived through, I think:
Boy, so near, yet so far! If only we could get home…

I mean, I just drove through the worst conditions of my life to get here, but I’d still give anything to be able to head back towards my room right now.

Snow stings. I squint as I make my way back to the car.
My heart strains at receding red and blue lights. The kind policeman promised he’d see us again.

But just before I yank the frozen-closed driver door open, (to go back to “sleep”) this little thought thunders me–

He could have gone home. But He didn’t.
He stayed stranded in a cold world, on a cold night… By far the worst “blizzard” He’d experienced. Like me, part of Him probably wondered at the circumstances he found Himself in. But the stronger part embraced them.
And he didn’t run home, though He could have.

He came here, He stayed here, by choice…

Merry Christmas.

usually, there’s a road there.

p.s. this really is real time blogging. Posted from back in the selfsame Post Office parking lot. No idea when we’ll get out of here… Did I tell you this GYC wasn’t going to be average?

When I Forget…

December 21, 2011 / / 20 Comments

I simply cannot tolerate disconnect anymore… Not now that I know what it feels like to be full and free. I don’t care what I’m in the middle of doing. When I need to drop everything, I do.
I just do.

My thumb swipes left then right across glass, taps “Reminders.”
Check, check. Check. I scroll for the next thing.

These are days unbelievably full in this house. Unbelievably full. With not one, but four young minds straining over plans for the honor of God in Houston next week, (hours a day) there is never a dull moment.
Or a relaxed one.
But we’re honored to serve… Honored to go to war with darkness, as indeed such it will be.

But I glance around my room, across my desktop, through my inbox(es) for the next most pressing emergency. And I suddenly become aware of an emergency of a different character altogether.

It’s this little heart of mine. Something’s not quite right…

I don’t brush past a call anymore. I can’t tolerate being disconnected from heaven any more… It’s the worst torture. I glance at my watch. Almost noon.

I pocket my iPhone, tell my mother I’m going out for a while, take my little sister by the shoulders and ask her if she’s prayed today…
And I go out.

And what I learn on the snow-covered hillside I expect to take with me all through life.

–  –  –  –  –
Whether my days are full or empty, my greatest danger is the same…
To forget my calling.
To forget, to neglect, to lose under a pile of other stuff… same thing.
Because the moment I forget my calling, I lose track of God’s claim on my life.
And make no mistake, God’s claim is the purpose for living. Lose sight of it, and direction is gone, and meaning is gone. I’m at the mercy of my passions and whims–
At the mercy of my merciless enemies. 
But when the claim of God is understood, and the calling of God embraced, then I am alive. And I can fold my arms and stare massive losses in the face with perfect calm. 
Because my side wins either way…


All at once, I’m ready to work again. 
I’ve been up the mountain, through the valley, across the creek… on my way to Zion.

We Know

December 18, 2011 / / 6 Comments

I awake early. I’ve slept for only a few hours, but I am charged…
I blink at a dark room, pause to pray. To consider. To remember–

again.

I have no idea what time it is. I don’t check.
Instead, I count God’s mercies, and beg that He will keep us His… always.
That nothing will ever induce us to chose another life. That no success, no opportunity, no open door, no pain or loss, or suffering will distract us from His claims on this little family of mine.

Hours pass. I don’t know how many. The light of dawn finally glows in the east. I reach into the leather bag I set down by my bed at 11:00 last night, pull out a book, open to December 18.

“And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God.“

“And we know…!” Not we think, or we hope. Not even we have faith that…
No, we know.
I know. I’d love to tell you just how, sometime…

I keep reading. But I’ve been fed already.

My mind wanders back over hours of prayers in the dark. There is only one condition in this verse before my eyes. “Love God.” For those who love God, one day (quite possibly much sooner than you think) all the darkness will be understood to be exactly what it really is– a gift.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? 
shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, 
or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?. . . 
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors 
through Him that loved us.”

Just a Pebble…

December 10, 2011 / / 5 Comments

Some day when every wrong is made right, I will understand the true weight of today. For now, let’s just say it was one of the best days of my entire life…

I step out, zipped and buttoned. Black wool and cashmere reach earthward almost to my knees. The very air is alive with vigor, somewhat like my insides… I go to meet my God in a beautiful field, on a beautiful farm, this beautiful morning of mornings.

I sit on sandstone at the spot where two friends of mine became one months ago, and read…
And my journal, this spiral bound book with my handwriting in it, this book that records the secrets of my broken-hearted moments, this book my Nana gave me, it opens my eyes to the goodness of my God.

Every moment I have lived, every mercy I have tasted, every tear I have shed, every battle I have fought, every dream turned to ashes, was for today.

Today.

Without them, the new dreams springing up would have nothing to root in; to feed on. Because of them, I love my God more than I love anything else in this great wide world. And I love all that is (are!) His…

Hours pass and I wander around the pond; ponder why my heart is here today anyway…

It was just a pebble.

Just a friend who doesn’t even know it happened. But just because they love Jesus, because they love what is high and holy and pure, and just because I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it when I was momentarily unsure of what to do with my sword, just because of that; them…..

Some day when every wrong is made right, I will understand the true weight of today.

Mean time, I will never again underestimate the power of influence…
Even if it does seem like just a pebble…

“Throw a pebble into a lake, and a wave is formed, and another…
until they reach the very shore. So with our influence. 
Beyond our knowledge or control it tells upon others 
in blessing or in cursing…
If by our example, we aid others in the development of 
good principles, we give them power to do good. In their turn 
they exert the same influence upon others, 
and they upon still others. 
Thus by our unconscious influence many may be blessed.”
Signs of the Times, Oct 21, 1903

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