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Because He is, was, does. [Glorious Fast – Part VIII]

October 19, 2012 / Seán / 1 Comment

“Then shall thy light break forth as the morning,

and thine health shall spring forth speedily:

and thy righteousness shall go before thee;

and the glory of the LORD shall [go behind thee]

Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer;

thou shalt cry and He shall say

‘Here I am!’

Then shall thy light rise in obscurity

and thy darkness be as the noon day:

And the LORD shall guide thee continually,

and satisfy thy soul in drought.

And thou shalt be like a watered garden

and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places…

and thou shalt be called

‘The repairer of the breach'”

Enough said.

Light, and strength, and holiness.

A front runner and a rear guard.

A new name out of nowhere.

A confident step. A satisfied soul.

An unfailing spring.

A rebuilder of dreams?

God’s dreams?

How can that even be?

Surely there must be more.

More than brokenness. More than choosing to go hungry.

More than gut wrenching chain-cutting.

More than mercy with power to undo.

More than banishing fear with love.

More than following Him back to finish off my tormentors.

More than giving away my only slice of bread.

More than opening my arms to hold what’s dying,

to see it raised up, or love it till it’s gone.

I mean, that’s a lot. But that can’t be all.

No, it isn’t all. There’s one more thing.

To realize that after all this, I’m still nothing, will always be nothing.

And I’m saved, and I get to help save,

because He is, was, does, all this.

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen?”

Yes.

And I choose it too.

Relentless Pursuit

October 18, 2012 / Seán / 3 Comments

We waste hours and days in pursuit of answers from God.

When the answer to every question is to be found in the pursuit of God.

That’s what I learned this morning.

– – –

Memories from the past week, compliments of Instagram (seannebblett)

The sight sister and brother-in-law will see from their balcony in Oklahoma farm country

Reunion of 8 out of 10 sibs.

Stick up to the knee wall, post and beam from there.

Andrew working his chain saw art

balancing act, on a wobbly floor joist, with an iPhone

fabricating things most people buy from the hardware store

sparklers at Chantée and Luke’s Oklahoma reception

uncomplicated. little ones. (love)

And off they go!

Love With Your Eyes [Glorious Fast – Part VII]

October 9, 2012 / Seán / 7 Comments

“…and that thou bring the poor that are [afflicted] to thy house?

When thou seest the naked, that thou cover him,

and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?”

There are times, many times, when answers are not enough.
When the most eloquently chosen words are still a mockery…

Because what are words when I am dying of leprosy, and you are not?
What are words when I am naked, and you are warmly clothed?
What are words when we could have been siblings, when our fates could have been reversed, but you turn away because you’d rather not see my open sores?

I’ll tell you exactly what words are then. Even, at times, the well meaning ones…

Shame. Shame and mockery…

Ok, whatever. So I won’t talk.
Oh, but what is silence!?

– – – – –

Many feel as though they don’t have the words anyway.
I’m here to go on record saying that that is no limitation.
You can still “bring,” you can still “cover…”

You can still open your arms and wrap them around the neck of a dying, reeking, sick child the Highest, and hold them to your heart, unguarded.
You can look steady and strong into the eyes of the naked and afraid, and prove to them that love can see past their lack.

Oh, and you might get the stench of death all over you.
But you might also release a soul from the grip of shame.

Dirty work? You might call it that. I don’t.
You know Jesus touched the leprous skin to make it whole.

Oh, love with your hands, your arms, your eyes…
And if your hands get covered in grime, no matter.

Have you ever, have you ever watched darkened eyes light up?

Love Gives

October 5, 2012 / Seán / 18 Comments

Ten days out. Long days of school, a trip to the east coast for a funeral, late nights, early mornings, (over and over again) and emails and work and volunteering piling up unmercifully–

Joy is still on the throne.

I can’t explain it. Why we trip down the road at twilight the five of us that remain, and laugh instead of cry.

I can’t explain it except to say that our joy is unutterably full.
And it doesn’t even seem like they’re gone.
They aren’t really… They’re closer than they were when she slept upstairs.
Even if we only exchange maybe one email a week.

The joy of giving far outshines the joy of having.

I can’t explain it.
I feel no need to try.

Almost every table and windowsill in the house boasts their faces in some form.
And almost every conversation includes references to “Lukey and Chantée.”

Something tells me that for some time, that’s how it’ll stay.

If You Have a Crumb [Glorious Fast – Part VI]

September 17, 2012 / Seán / 2 Comments

“…Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry…”

– – – –

Arms open wide, I try to embrace them all.
Canis Major, Aries, Lepus, Orion, Columba…
All in their undimmed glory against the blackness.
And Venus and Jupiter, brightest of all.

Head tipped back, I spin; take it in.
Try to grip infinity while the earth grips me, twirls me through the universe like a daddy does his child.

And it’s just me. Me and my dog.
On a 36 degree morning. At 8,000 feet.

I break into a smile.

And I whisper to myself; to Him–

No sooner has a child of the Highest yielded to transforming grace, than he is made an ambassador among men.*

No sooner!

– – – –

“But I have nothing.”

If you have a crumb of bread, you have enough.

It doesn’t say you must be a wholesale broker of baked goods.
Nor does it say that those goods must be the finest pastries.
Nor does it say that you’ll need a flawless record of lifelong fidelity to be trusted with the job…

Because no sooner has a child of the Highest yielded to transforming grace, than he is made an ambassador among men.

What it does say, is that this bread, this simple fare passed down to sustain life–

It’s not just bread you picked up somewhere for general distribution.
This was yours.
Your next meal.

“…Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry…”

Beautiful is this truth. A terrible beautiful.

If you have a crumb of bread to eat, (and most people do) you have enough to give away.
And if you would see men free, and full, and overflowing,
you must.

– – – –

At hill’s top I turn, greet the dawn.
Embrace the empty expanse with my whole heart.
This is fullness.

*See page 2.1 of Mount of Blessings…

To Finish the Job [Glorious Fast – Part V]

September 13, 2012 / Seán / 4 Comments

“… and that ye break every yoke?…”

This is no halfway freedom we’re talking about.

This is undeniably the most audacious face of the conflict–
It’s grace, returning to finish the job.

Because “if the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

So it is that the trembling (but oh, so happy) child of God (only recently in chains) awakens one morning to a flurry of activity, and while yet rubbing sleep from the eyes an angel brushes by and says the Commander is waiting…

“For what–
For me??”

Yes. Because just getting clear of the door of that prison is’t enough for this General.
Today they’re going back to crush the fortress to a thousand pieces.

And He wants to take me with Him.

So we set out. Me with my little coil of rope, and Him, strong as ten thousand times ten thousand bulldozers. And I look up in awe while we trek– still thinking this is a dream. The One, the Invincible Soldier. The other, the admiring little boy, still in his pajamas…
And He looks down and smiles.

He doesn’t need me.

But He glories in making the weak, strong.
–in setting them over their enemies.

And after all, don’t I know where the pillars in that place rest, better than most?

Chained by Fear [Glorious Fast – Part IV]

September 10, 2012 / Seán / 8 Comments

“…and to let the oppressed to free…“

“There is nothing in the world to fear, but fear itself.“
–words to a trusted friend those.

Fear substantiates the false claims of every captor.

Because when I fail, this jail I find myself in is horrible…
But even more horrible is the fear.

Fear keeps thousands in prison, when the door is wide open.
Because worse than jail itself is fearing “how God will treat me” when I get out…

But to say that God is anything like fear describes is as wrong as calling the devil a savior.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

The truth is, God loves.
only. loves.

But the fearing can scarcely be blamed for disbelieving that at times…

We’ve taught them to.

Yes. You and me.
We teach the weak to fear.
By our actions. When we’re supposed to be representing Jesus Himself…

And that keeps them in prison even when the doors are open.

“…and to let the oppressed to free…”

Not just by getting the door open.
By helping them believe they’ll always find open arms on the other side of the threshold.

Always.

Trophies of His Mercy [Glorious Fast – Part III]

September 6, 2012 / Seán / 20 Comments

“…to undo the heavy burdens…”

Undo.
I love that word.

I love that word.

Schoolmaster holds up a bony finger and rants of paradises lost. Of opportunities wasted. Of moments, talents, thrown to the wind. Or worse.
Of the train of mistakes so long it takes an army of engines to pull them.
And that army of engines is me.
(And so, we get nowhere.)

Of the crushing weight of another failure.
Another moment I regret the second it is gone.
Of the shame that no one can understand because they know nothing of its source…

Schoolmaster’s voice shrieks this madness,
this madness that is real,
and I cover. cower. cry.

And then in the midst of this shower of burning brimstone a hand is raised.
And teacher’s tirade ceases on a goldfish-gulp of air, for sheer shock that someone might want to speak…
And the voice is quiet, but it is as solid as a rock.

“Is there no way to undo?”

“Un-DO?!”

– – – – –

Grace.
I love that word too…

And it does undo.
The Hebrew word means more than just to untie one’s shoelaces.

It means to utterly confound, baffle, unravel…

I know.
I know, in the present-progressive.
Because I pace too, lion-like. Fists doubled up. Star-studded blackness outside french doors to bookshelf, and back.
And I dry my eyes, drop exhausted. Only to cry some more.
And I whisper–

“He restoreth my soul… He restoreth my soul…”

I have heard it said that “There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us.”*

I believe it.
Yes, there is a way to undo.

Oh, but schoolmaster shrieks again that the scars will always remain.

Yes. And even scars are trophies of His mercy–
A scar is infinitely better than an eternally open wound.

Thank you Jesus.

– – – – –

And so the soldier gets up from his face forgiven. Again.
Pure. again.

But only as he remembers what he himself has learned on his face will he be qualified to help undo burdens himself.

This is why we must never forget…

Be thou merciful.

*Richard Sibbes

The Blind Cannot Lead The Blind [Glorious Fast – Part II]

September 4, 2012 / Seán / 6 Comments

“…to loose the bands of wickedness…”

If hacking chains is exhilarating work, it is also gut-wrenching. Tear jerking.
Soul taxing–

And full-filling.

It is neither for the faint-hearted, nor for the half-committed…

But it is brilliantly, brilliantly rewarding.

Little wonder then that many an eager recruit has taken to the field with clumsy grip and misfit armor to seek fame in such brave exploits. Only, without first counting (or even knowing) the cost.

These first six words betray one of the best-kept secrets of the dark side.

As regards [im]morality*:

License is bondage.

Lust is an iron chain.
And many, many beautiful people are wearing such fetters.

But these, my friends,
These are the first chains to go.

Only, they will never fall helpless before the faith (or the fervent fuming) of the faint-hearted,
or the half-committed.

From these same six words rings out to every soldier sharpening his sword for such a battle, this thundered imperative- a charge commanding every anguished drop of a soldier’s undying commitment:

Be. thou. pure.

Be thou pure.

Because only purity is stronger than vice.

*Strongs: [“wickedness” from 7561; a wrong (especially moral)…]

I Will Go – Available Now!

August 31, 2012 / Seán / 8 Comments

My life, your life, has been preserved until this moment

for one reason.

That it might be given away.

While there is life and strength in you,
While you are young and brave, and beautiful,

Go.

Go pour out every drop on thirsty ground

where no flowers grow, but seeds lie dormant.

From its first heartbeat this project has been woven with your prayers, enabled by your gifts, inspired by your friendship and filled with your favorites.

And it’s all been such a gift to us, we can’t stand the thought of ending the giving.
And we’ve decided there’s no reason to.

This CD is a bit different… Longer, yes. Filled with nominations, yes.
But more than that, squeezed out of hearts that are being wrung with longing to see dark places lighted with the Glory of God…

Hearts thankful beyond words for the inspiration of the soldiers young and old actually holding the torches.
They’re our heroes. And some of their names can’t appear in print.
But this CD is dedicated to them.

And we give thanks for them, but we want to do something a bit more.
So a dollar from every disk goes to Karen Outreach. (www.karenoutreach.org)
Forever.

That’s our little part.
If you’d like to send a dollar too, use the second paypal button when you order. We’ll send $2.

But don’t just buy the CD and sit and listen and smile and say “that’s sweet.”
Go get on your face and ask to be broken and spilled out.

Then we can call this project a success.

______________________________________________

p.s. Thank you isn’t enough. 80 plus songs later, we have fodder for lots of dreams. And we wish we could sufficiently thank everyone that took the time to nominate songs. We still have the list….. 🙂
But I promised that your names would go in a hat, and a dozen of you would get free copies. So if your name is listed below:

1. Don’t order a copy. It’ll just come in the mail. (better email me at seannebblett[at]gmail[dot]com to give me your address though.

2. Order a copy anyway. We’ll send all 15 dollars to Asia…

Maria Adams

Esther Collier

Luther Coram

Christina Ford

Emily Heagy
Beth Johns

Lydia Keener

Cami Martin

Hope Montana

Libby Orthman

Allie Westermeyer

Sophia Wichmann